so you know how i mentioned that i only needed to keep drogo charged to get the heavens to open up? well, i drastically over-exaggerated my reaction. drogo's intensity was at full strength but i didn't achieve the mind-numbing orgasm i experienced when i first got him. bottom-line, the orgasms are weak and harder to achieve. don't get me wrong, drogo still feels good but honestly he's not worth getting out of the box anymore.

i think this is the perfect opportunity to focus on growing as an individual...as an adult. i really need to commit to succeeding in life. i always fall short and i end up beating myself up over it. i never completed a real project that took more than a month or so. i will start tomorrow.

so my challenge starting tomorrow to last everyday to the end of march.

1. workout for at least 30 min a day.
2. get at least one green smoothie in a day
3. read for at least 30 min a day

these are good stepping stones.

i listened to a comedian by the name of Monique Marvez on amazon prime. she's fairly funny. what i took from her stand-up is as a woman you should be confident despite your circumstances. it's ok to love me no matter what size i am. my size isn't preventing me from getting a date but my lack of self-confidence is. i've had a lifetime of negative thoughts planted either by relatives or classmates to the extent of planting them myself when i eventually left them. sometimes it takes someone else to pinpoint some things for me to recognize it. even if it was a comedy stand up.

i can still live my best life.