i miss my mom. as much as she aggravated the hell out of me i just miss her. it's weird not having her here even though we didn't have much of a relationship. i didn't think that losing her i'd have nobody left blood-wise. but like a wise person told me, nothing causes separations like weddings and funerals.

the family member in louisiana contacted me again about my brother and the paperwork. i agreed to sign the paper on his behalf. he said he'd get it notarized. this sounds totally illegal but i'll get it done to get this guy off my back.

i need stamps. stamps are a special trip. i probably should go to the store now to get it over with to mail the letter in the morning. the drudgery.

i thought i'd come in here to discuss depression. i don't feel depressed necessarily but my house still shows the symptoms of depression. i just refuse to clean. i have levels of trash to throw away and dishes to clean. if i can't make a significant impact on cleaning by my first weekend of my new schedule then i'm going to hire a maid to clean the kitchen and the front room.

i have some good news. i got the work from home position. i killed the interview so i was hoping it would go in my way because i prayed to God that i wanted to work from home for my health. i'm eating way too much and way too much junk in the office. i can get my health back on track without the pressure of having snacks and meat thrown in my face. all the hard work i did last year is lost. i'm out of breath trying to tie my shoes in the morning. my gut is way too big but once i'm at home i can focus on a vegan diet again. the weight just fell off.

and in some better news, i also got to pick my new schedule for first quarter. sun-wed. 4x10s is going to be great. unfortunately i'll miss church but i'll essentially have a free day to read and do whatever i want because it's the easiest day of the week with roughly 20 calls on sunday. i'd rather read all day for 10 hrs and work 3 days for the rest of the week and have 3 consecutive days off for the rest of the week.

i feel weird for being happy about these perks. i feel weird for even still being there. to be 42 almost 43 happy about something that i consider as under-employment. i need to go to sleep now. have a good one.

i've been missing 'A' but it's not what you think. i miss having someone talk in my ear. i'm not sure why i miss having a one-sided conversation. maybe i don't. maybe he's familiar, convenient, and easy. yeah that's it. so nevermind.