a lot to catch up on. i'll just throw out the lastest happenings

i put back on the 30 of the 40 pounds just as quickly as i lost it. i knew i had been putting on weight as it's been harder to move around, back and knee pain, and shortness of breath. i'm quite ashamed of myself. i was so close to getting back into a size M. maybe 20 pounds away and here i go and put back on 30 that i lost. but all is not lost. i can lose it again but i need to address my triggers. i keep falling off once i get to a certain point. that could be that i'm mentally exhausted of spinning my wheels trying to reach a certain goal that i collapse from the pressure of it all. couple that with school expectations and there you have it. failed yet again.

i had an interview on thursday for a position that i was overlooked for through an internal transfer. i applied on the company's external website and got a referral from a guy that was moved to that company internally. the interview went 30 min longer than scheduled and i feel that they liked me. they said they will let me know no later than tuesday end of day. i pray i get it. the job is a lot less stress. talking to jason i will get roughly 10-15 calls a day. compared to the 80-90 calls a day, it will be a new form of freedom i haven't experiened in 4.5 years. even better news, i'll get to keep my years with the company so that in the next few months i'll get an extra week of vacation. also with an added bonus, they will pay my phone bill on top of a stipend to pay for internet (which, btw, is free).

i had to go see the ob/gyn that i don't like because i'm having issues with my period. my last period proved to be very difficult. she gave me an exam and said that my cervix is pointing down instead of being centered. this would be why i had issues with my cup fitting and collecting blood. i asked her if it was due to the cup and she said it was more likely that it is due to the fibroids. she believes they are growing causing the issue. it could be coincidental. but the last time i used the cup "successfully", i had a problem with it on the last day and now i can't wear them. i'm back on pads and they are the bane of a woman's existance. cups were a new way of life

i've been doing clinicals for the cna course. i believe i will pass. last day for clinicals is on the 8th and the state exam is on the 11th. if all goes well, i'll start training for the new job on the 18th. that would be just a mere 2 weeks left. i'm gonna need a day off. i'm just tired.

i need to go upstairs to go to sleep but i need to study. but i think i'm going to sleep instead.