i'm feeling lonely today. i've been in the house too long. i need more interaction.

i started looking at some certifications that vonnell recommended that i consider pursuing. i looked at one of them and my mind immediately drifted. going back into IT is dreadful. i still don't know where God wants me to go and it's beyond frustrating.

i've been playing music that makes me long for 'A'. i'm abusing myself by doing this and it's not worth the pain. so i've started playing motivation videos on youtube. i've been listening to them during the day and while i'm sleeping. i have to stay focused. i have to do something that's going to propel me forward.

thanks, stinger, for letting me know what i was feeling for 'A' is normal. i just gotta press through it. distract myself with things that actually matter. #adulting

i worked out for over 2 hrs today. i'm seeing changes. finally. i was worried for a minute that i'm going to stay like this forever. i'm on my way back to a size 8. i'm in a size 12 jean...probably a 16 shirt. yes, i'm built like a carrot hopefully these changes will come more quickly. all my muscles are sore. being a quadragenarian is a mofo on the metabolism. i know if i had been doing this 10 years ago i would have shaped up a lot quicker than what is transpiring now. #gettingoldsucks

i found a water stain on my ceiling yesterday. to make matters worse, that portion of the ceiling is under the attic so no telling how long my roof has been leaking. i've never been up there because it's not easily reached. my house is 20 years old this year so i think it's time for a new roof. i called an insurance adjuster to see if my coverage includes roofs. turns out if it's only if it's wind damage. so i'm already mentally preparing myself to come out of pocket for a new roof. i'm willing to get it patched if i can get a tesla roof installed later this year...if i can afford it. there still isn't any information on how much these fancy new tesla roofs cost. i had a former co-worker give me some info on the cost of a roof. he paid 7500 a few years back so i may be paying closer to 8k now. i can't afford to keep living here if i don't find a well-paying job soon. i'm going to a job fair tomorrow. hopefully, i can find something that piques my interest.

i need to look at my dream board again. maybe i can tie together some ideas and find something that i overlooked.

going to bed. ttyl.