geez, it's been ages since i've updated. i've been preoccupied with work. i finished training on friday and now our team is in "nesting" which is the trial phase for the next 2 months. now i can officially ask for some time off in august to go to jamaica. it's going to be a long stretch because i haven't accrued enough pto to take off 3 days. i'm hoping and praying it works out that i can spend 5 days in jamaica due to an invite from my jamaican friends going home for a month. it's the best thing ever to have jamaican friends.

in some not so great news, i haven't worked out in a week. and with the added bonus of me eating more because i'm surrounded by food in the office my size 10's are snug and my 12's are "fitting" now. i have to get back to focusing and disciplining myself again. i had it easy when i wasn't working. now that i am working i have less time to juggle and my workouts/eating are suffering behind it.

i'm hungry. i want to order something but i need to cook instead. i have quinoa, onions, mushrooms and bell peppers. that's tons healthier than take out. i actually want a large bowl of pho or ramen. it's tough being a foodie trying to cut back *ugh*. see how quickly my mind wanders? terrible. just terrible.

before i hit my workout, i need to make note of something that happened a few weeks ago. i was overcome with so much anxiety. this wasn't normal anxiety. i felt in my spirit that something bad was about to happen on a spiritual level. an attack spiritually, maybe? it was bothering me enough that i had to go to church to get prayer at the alter about the matter. once i was prayed for i was confident that God is protecting me and i felt that way ever since. now get this. sometime last week i was on a friend's periscope and he was praying for people. he mentioned that he saw good things concerning me. i asked him to be more specific. he replied with this:

"I'm seeing a guard protecting a high security facility. You are what is being protected. And it's high security because you are incredibly valuable. Anything that is trying to harm you will not work."

is that not confirmation?

and about this job. i have to finish out my remaining time seeking God to get out of it. this is a good job and a very good company to work for but when you know you are called to do something greater in life this job is just a waste of time. i'm surrounded by good people so the time is tolerable but i have to leave as quickly as possible.