i started doing some soul searching at the midnight hour and i'm intrigued by the process. i'm bothered because i have to go to sleep. but i want to delve into why i do the things i do. i found myself cyber-stalking people i've known for 20+ years and have previously blocked the from social media. that puzzles me and it doesn't have a good feeling. i need to get to the root of the thing. several things actually. unhealthy habits and unhealthy thoughts.

i'll explain more that later. i feel that this next entry will be cathartic i'm feeling depression lift it's head and weighing me down. i need to tap in really close because something has got to give.