i cleaned my front room. i need to straighten up my workout corner, dust and vacuum but essentially, i've deemed the room cleaned. i'm cleaning my kitchen now and i just got an overwhelming feeling of loneliness which is delaying my progress. the task is daunting as i'm growing a few science projects...yuck. but i will get this done without having to get a professional service. i know i won't get all of it done today but i will make enough headway that i will be proud of myself. i reached out to keith and mark but they are both watching football games and can't be bothered with conversations during this time. totally understand. no biggie. i have to figure out why i'm hesitating cleaning something that will eventually bring me joy. i need to pray about it.. it's not just laziness it's something else...something emotional that's keeping me bound. the kitchen has been messy before just like any kitchen. but this has to be stemming from my depression. this is definitely a roadblock preventing progress in other areas.

i just thought i'd document what i'm feeling of dealing with an area that i've been avoiding for a lot longer than i'm willing to admit. i started watching a show "tidying up" on netflix and it's motivating. people that have gotten rid of "stuff" are free from the stress of having it. clean spaces. i've cleaned my office/peace room and my spare bedroom and both places are peaceful. i don't feel the stress of having to do something when i walk in there.