and i have a repeat of last year. i got a mammogram done on wednesday. the technician asked the usual questions of have i been diagnosed with cancer, etc. i said no, but i have been told of cysts. one in my left breast (that i later had drained) and one in my right breast from last year. after the mammogram was complete, something unnerving happened. i asked the technician could i see my x-rays. she said yes but she can't diagnose anything. no biggie, i just wanna see. she pointed to the top of my right breast and said that must be where the cyst is you were talking about. i didn't say anything, but no. the cyst from last year was on the bottom of my right breast. i didn't let on because i didn't want her to feel awkward like she did anything wrong.

but yeah, the technician pointed to a spot altogether different from my last cyst. i knew i was getting a call to come back in for a sonogram. sure enough, i got a call today saying they see need a closer look at my right breast. some nodule or something the nurse said. after that call, anxiety ran away with me. i've adjusted my healthcare contributions to help me just in case i need additional medical care.

i will say this, mammograms are overwhelming. you always hate to get a phone call that you have to come back in for a closer look. this year i have to wait longer than i did last year. last year i only had to wait a week before i got a sonogram. this year, the first available appointment is three weeks out. i go for the sonogram on Dec 5th. i'll just do what i did last year. pray and stay focused on the word and my diet.

this is unnerving. not just because of what it is because in itself, it's overwhelming to get the call to come in for a sonogram. but also because of the number of women i've talked to that have had breast cancer and how their stories play out the same. mammogram, phone call, sonogram, biopsy, diagnosis, treatment. the treatment is alarming. i decided last year, if i was diagnosed with something malignant that i wouldn't do traditional treatment methods primarily because i have no one to assist me. i don't to go through those types of treatments and i have no one to help me.