i'm back to healthy eating and exercising, although i'm still snacking. but i'm doing more than i had over the past couple of months. i want to push it into high gear because i'm still planning on getting my navel pierced near the end of august.

i'm thinking about money constraints. i have to somehow figure out how to pay for school, ati teas and this piercing. i have an 18-month, zero-interest credit card i'm charging everything on but i still have to figure out a way to pay everything.

i took out some money to get my bathroom remodeled and some things changed and repaired around the house. now i have the trouble of trying to find someone to do the work. a lady called in to work about her credit card and i see large charges from home depot, lowes, etc. i inquired about her charges if by chance she moved or remodeling and she told me yes and that she's hired contractors because home depot charges too much money. and they do. i recall getting a faucet installed and it was an exorbitant amount of money. i'm networking to find some leads. i'm praying that i can find someone to do the work correctly and not overcharge/cheat me out of the money. i want the work completed by the end of august. i want to gut the bathroom and make it look like a totally different bathroom. i need to make it aesthetically appealing for putting on the market later. and i'm hoping that the new work will allow me to be happy in that space for the time frame that i'm in it.

i've been thinking about my mom. i miss her. i think about me being a horrible daughter. thinking about my dad too. i pray he's doing well during the pandemic. it's so strange. 30 years ago you couldn't convince me that i wouldn't have a relationship with him. i'm ambivalent about having one with him. i just don't want to hear about him being ravaged by a virus. i pray he is ok and making wise decisions.

i had a dream last week too. i saw myself feverishly packing my things in boxes. this confirms my friends that have been praying for me. the ones that mentioned me moving said start packing. i'm going to call walmart thursday to ask for boxes so i can get a lot more done. i will have to store them in the basement just to keep them out of the way until it's time.

i'm digging more into my requirements for school. i have to take a ati teas test prior to applying to nursing school. so i'm trying to figure how to arrange for practice testing so i can get ready.

tiffany is going back to jamaica for about a month or so. it will be good to have the house back to myself for a while. i can walk around in my undies without being insecure around a size 4. good news is when she does come back, i'll get more jamaican food :) i affectionately call her my jamaican mule. :)

i briefly thought about contacting 'A' just to make sure he's ok during this pandemic. then i remembered that as long as we've been in the pandemic that he hasn't once picked up the phone to see how i'm doing. only to ask if i wrote about him. i quickly dismissed the gesture of making sure he's ok.

i've been reaching out to mark but he hasn't responded in a few days. i'm hope he is ok. it isn't like him not to respond. i hope he's just busy and not having a problem.

tomorrow, i'm going to try to get boxes to start packing. i'm going to get packing materials and tape so i can make a dent in my getting things packed away. i am moving. i just don't know where yet.

i'm still going to get my navel re-pierced next month. i'm going to put it into high gear from now until i actually get pierced. i should have my credit card almost paid off by the time i get pierced. so i'll just the piercing and the cna class. so i'm looking at roughly $800-900 dollars to pay off in little over a year without any interest. living paycheck to paycheck is rough.

my friend in the netherlands is/was planning to move to the states. she saw a video about americans living abroad in utter shock about how other countries handle healthcare, education and the norm of mass shootings. i told her everything is true. she needs to think long and hard about moving to the US. just hearing the positives about other countries makes me want to move abroad.