so my CNA class started it felt surreal getting ready to do something new. i liked it. i also didn't like it. being a CNA is basically someone that does all the nurses grunt work. bathing, hygiene, handling excrement. yuck. thankfully, i only have to do a few weeks of it. hopefully, where God is taking me i won't be beside in this manner.

i'm also taking a second class, college success, that starts tomorrow. i need to be able to use my resources, develop better study habits, make goals and accomplishments, etc. thankfully, a portion of it will be covered by a grant.

i talked to a therapist today. i just knew with my everything she was gonna sign off on some short-term disability so i'd be able to recoup. she suggested that i get a new job. that there are other options and for me to try the hospital down the street. the last thing i wanted was to be thrust out in public with all the germs but that looks like my only option. i told her that i'm being short with customers, i'm angry, and i'm self-harming. and ever since this new metrics has been implemented, i'm not performing well at all. i'm over it. she suggested that i let them fire me so i can collect unemployment until i find something else. i never heard of a professional suggest that before but i really have limited options. also, i can't take std because i'm in school. they will claim that if i'm too sick to work, i'm too sick to go to school. i can't delay school any longer. so i'm stuck for at least the next 6 weeks. i'm not sure how much longer i can hang on. i'm stuck in a couple of ways. lets just say i find a new job in a couple of weeks. i can't take it because i have class all day on fridays. no new job is going to going to allow me to take friday's off. so i couldn't even start a new job until mid-oct. i'm literally stuck. at best she said that i can use my vacation to take off a week from work. granted, any time off work helps but it's only a band-aid on a severed artery.

i told tiffany that it was mandatory that she get the vaccine because i'm going to be out in public and if i'm exposed she's going to be vulnerable. she's going to stay in jamaica longer to make sure she gets both shots. good for me because i like having my house back to myself. she's intending on coming back late sep/early oct.

i have to finish taking a cpr course. i thought i was going to make a large dent in it tonight but i'm going to go to sleep. i had a pretty heavy dinner and i'm fighting the urge to sleep. as soon as my head hits the pillow i'm gonna be out like a light.

i'm still lonely. but like a meme said "don't let getting lonely make you reconnect with toxic people. you shouldn't drink poison because you are thirsty."