this perimenopause is working me over in such a way that i'm recognizing my shortcomings days later. i've been a judgmental b!tch for the last few weeks. it's either a lacking on my part or it's me dealing with mood swings. i feel like such a heel.

i went to the doctor today to see if i'm a candidate for the procedure to deal with my fibroids. this is my first time seeing him and i gotta say i'm impressed. i've tried vetting a few doctors over the past couple of years and i didn't like any of them, except one but she wasn't the doctor for me. she was gonna cut me from top to bottom and cause me to have 6-weeks downtime. he reminds me a lot of my previous doctor that retired at the cusp of covid. i miss him. but now this new doctor is just as good as it seems. he was able to fit me in for a vaginal ultrasound the same day. i should hear back from him this week to see if i'm a candidate. i have 4 fibroids with the largest being 7 cm. he said ideally they prefer them to be under 6 but we'll see what he determines.

tiffany is aiming to leave on june 17th. it's been 3 years. i'm going to be sad to see her go but i miss my solitude. i'm definitely going to miss the money she pays me. it doesn't seem like she's going to be here for my procedure but i'll be ok. i can get tawanna to watch me if necessary.

work is wearing me down. i need to find something else. i really wish i could keep working with my coworkers but i'm unhappy with the direction my life is going.

oh i forgot a couple of things. i got on the scale at the doctor's and not only did i gain all the weight back but i also added on an extra 3 pounds. and this is why my sports bra is tight as well as my watch. my watch has never been uncomfortable until now. :( my anxiety with this move is making me eat non-stop. i can't get past this hump. i've gained most of weight across my stomach and my back and it feels so uncomfortable. i think i'm going to start walking again while i work. 30 min to start and go from there.

today is my dad's birthday. i hope he's well. i've prayed that he makes it passed this birthday but i'm not sure. happy birthday.