i had a nightmare last night. i need God to interpret it. i saw a man standing over me performing witchcraft. then i saw a spider made of gold straight pins descend from the ceiling. i started saying Jesus' name in my sleep. i quite literally jumped out of bed and started praying. i prayed for obedience and for God's angels to protect me while i sleep.

i been mulling over dating. i would like to be in a relationship. i miss having conversations that don't involve late fees or adult tantrums. i miss being the object of someone's affection. heck i miss me. i guess i'll start with showing myself the attention that i deserve.

i can be the most obtuse dullard in the box and i'm in awe of how much God loves me. i'm just flabbergasted.

i bought a CBD balm for my tight shoulder. balms and creams never have worked previously. not only does this work, my sleep is considerably better.

i got a new phone. a note 9. i think God is testing me. to make a long story short, the company where i bought the phone sent an email stating they are refunding the money. if the credit hits the account i have to let them know it was done by mistake. #integrity

playing with this phone, i thought i'd play with the live notes and the animations. i wrote "happy birthday! xo". 'A's bday is near the end of next month. i'll send it to him then. even though i can't see myself with him, i can't see myself with anyone else but him. i know that sounds strange but it makes perfect sense to me. this does exemplify my weirdness.