i'm sleeping better. motivation is present. so are bad habits. i made an effort to finish a book that i started writing a couple of years ago. i signed up for an online class at the local community college in hopes to have a book written and eventually published over a period of 6 weeks. i have to get this done. i need to accomplish this task. i've been sitting on this for years now. this is part of my purpose. i need the fulfillment. my life has to matter. i'm also considering taking another class for end of life care. i'm hoping this will lead to another career because customer care is a dead end job. especially in this company.

did i tell you about the "merit" increase? if i didn't prepare for the phuckery. the cap for my position is $22/hr. i'm still a couple of bucks away from reaching the cap. the merit increase was 3.5%, less than the 4% i received last year. when i inquired why it was less than 4% when i performed better than my previous years, my supervisor said that i make closer to the midline causing my increase to be lower. then it's not based on merit and it's a way to delay me reaching the cap. for someone living paycheck to paycheck, that's a slap in the face. despite how disappointed i am, i'm grateful because an increase does help, but i'm even more motivated to leave.

i need a life change. been needing it for a while. where i've lacked is the work required to make changes. this will be a challenging endeavor as i'm lazy but the desire to have a new life is overwhelming. i have to do it. i refuse to live like this anymore.

as i mentioned earlier, i am sleeping better. i'm taking the vitamin d and the melatonin 10mg. i'm contemplating taking the prescription but only if i'm not getting the desired results with what i'm taking. regardless, i won't take it for a few weeks because it has a bad reaction with when taking marijuana. i still have one brownie left that i plan on eating for my birthday. since i can't party in jamaica, i party in kansas.

speaking of jamaica, i've contacted hopper multiple times regarding a refund for my trip but i haven't gotten a response. they disabled their chat feature. they don't have a phone number. they didn't respond to a message on twitter so i contacted customer support to submit a dispute to get the money back. they have a quicker turnaround time to resolve disputes. it will take anywhere from 6-8 weeks. hopefully it goes in my favor where i can get all the money back. i've already put a few hundred dollars into paying it off. i really don't want to wait an additional 2 couple of months to get that money back. we'll see.