i went to the barber today. he did an okay-ish type job but i expected better from someone that cuts hair everyday. he tapered my edges unevenly and the line up in the back is off on one side. i didn't notice until i got home because i ran out of there because some of the patrons in the shop didn't have on masks.

i posted pics on instagram to show the drastic change. the first person i showed went out of his way to ask for pics. when i showed him the pic there was silence. i figure if you send 3 messages to send a pic you would respond as soon as you get it...unless you didn't like it. which he did. i prompted him for a response and he said, "it's nice."

i'm not stupid. he doesn't like it but no one says he doesn't have to like it. but the good news is that i received so much affirmation from everyone else on instagram. that was really appreciated. i got personal messages that i am pretty.

now here comes the not so good news. i get a sonogram to check what's causing my crazy period. 21 days is not normal. i fill up my bladder with at least 32 oz of water and the tech traced the wand over my stomach. then she started pointing and clicking on the screen as though she was taking pics and measurements. she said she wanted to do the internal sonogram (no one's favorite) so she let me empty my bladder. she asked me if i wanted her to put it in...uh no. i don't even wanna even discuss that image. she starts moving the internal wand around and i ask what she sees. she sees fibroids. my heart sank. i asked how many. she said 4, the biggest one being about an inch.

i remember praying recently asking God that maybe i need to be "made" to eat better. low and behold a few hours later, i need to restrict my diet so that my body can heal itself. it was bound to come down to this as i haven't been committed to a vegan diet ini 3 years. and now that i've eaten everything under the sun it's come back to haunt me in the form of fibroids.

i won't do surgery as now i can't afford it. i don't wanna do surgery as the nation is in a pandemic. plus after a surgery you need someone to watch you for 24 hrs just to make sure you don't have any problems. again, a pandemic makes it harder to find someone to help. i'm going to have to resolve myself back to a vegan diet. not only for the fibroids but overall health.

2020 is relentless.