so today i go to the doctor to discuss options pertaining to controlling the fibroids. on the way in they do measurements and weight. in my primary care physician's office, the scale is in kg and since i'm not the one to do math problems anymore i ignore it. however, in this office when i looked down, the scale was in pounds and HOLEE SHYT the scale read 222 lbs. i wasn't ready. i'm dang near 100 lbs over my most comfortable weight. in quarantine, especially in the beginning, i couldn't stop eating. especially sweets. it's been harder to maneuver around my stomach and i'm out of breath every time i exert energy. i'm a whale. the good thing is i've started working out. not daily, but a couple of times a week. but now that i know i'm a whopping TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO POUNDS. i'm making a point to do something daily. geez. i've decided not to beat myself up and make self-deprecating remarks because this is the body i live in. although i'm not my ideal weight i must love me at every stage.

anyhoo, she's the first obgyn i've seen since my obgyn stopped taking my insurance in 2017. i must say she doesn't have a comparable bedside manner as him. i may have to look for someone else in the future. she mentioned various surgeries that i have no interest in partaking. i asked for ways of controlling the bleeding and wondered if stopping my period will cause the fibroids to go away. she said no :( she said the pill will only control the bleeding. so if i take the pill minus the sugar pills i can avoid a period altogether while i get this vegan thing nailed down. i got home and told an older friend that what was going on with the fibroids and she said take cod liver oil. it regulates periods. so i'm going to take the cod liver oil instead of the pill for a couple of months to see any change.

i'm a little lonely. i'm reaching out to mark and jeff a bit more to offset the isolation. it's good but i need to focus more on myself. my goals.

i've been thinking of updating my bathroom in my room. the bright light that did my bathroom when i bought it put down carpet in my bathroom. so of course, the expected problems with carpet in a bathroom have started. i'm going to have to pull out some cash to handle this bathroom because i would love an update. tile, new shower, tub and even a door that separates the master bedroom from the master bath. i'm concerned about the virus, however, the virus isn't going anywhere. i need to get things done.