so i started the new temp position in global disputes. training was a nightmare as the selected associates were plagued by access issues. once we were paired with someone all the information started to make more sense. i still need more assistance as they didn't give us enough info to complete our jobs. but at least i'm officially off the phones.

one thing did strike me as an issue. shanice, the associate i was paired, said that i was doing really well, i just need to work on my confidence. that seems to be a common assessment that others say about me. in this particular instance, i don't see how that's a fair assessment since we weren't given adequate materials for training. you have to send out the correct information to the AH when responding to their concerns. if i don't have all the information, it's only right that i approach the situation with apprehension. but like i said, this isn't the first supervisors or colleagues have mentioned it. i'm not sure what vibe i'm giving off but now i need to take notice.

so that's my prayer. i need to exude confidence. actually, i think i have a book on confidence by joyce meyer. i need to pick it up again as i don't think i finished it.

i had another dream.

I was in a house that I didn't recognize but it felt like mine. I was going about my day in my room taking care of what appeared to be financial matters. I remember putting a safe deposit key in a special box. I looked up and there were 2 men in my room. I knew they were after me and something valuable. I threw the box with key outside the window in hopes they would run outside to get it. Only one of the men ran outside. I ran to get away from the other one but he eventually caught me. The other guy came back inside the house. I was still attempting to get away. I ran to the front door. There were additional locks they put on the door but I was able to bypass them. I made it just outside the door when I saw a neighbor a few doors down across the street. She wasn't looking in my direction. I screamed for help but no words came out my mouth. I screamed again, but again, no words. The men grabbed me and dragged me back in. I let out one final scream but this time I audibly screamed myself awake.

it's an extremely strange feeling to wake up screaming. i really can't describe the feeling of it really. to be honest, it's not something i want to experience again.

i took another took another fellatio class last night. since the "practice piece" didn't arrive in time for our class, we were given the opportunity to take a repeat class. so with a second class and a "practice piece", i get to ask questions. i asked a few and they were answered. i was reluctant in using my "practice piece" due to the color. it is off-putting. it's pink. we were told it was going to be blue or clear. the last thing i want to do is put a pink penis in my mouth. alas, it would have been too much trouble to get a diff color so i have to quite literally suck it up and keep it pushing. despite it being pink, i did enjoy performing on it. it's challenging even though it's not that big, 5.5" insertable length. i'm concerned about teeth interfering but i gotta keep practicing.

i went to a different barber at the same location. i got a far better cut. unlike the other barber, he actually did what i instructed. then the best part is he said, "when it grows out more you can get a different shape in this area." and that's exactly what i was thinking. he's a keeper.

i need to be focused on more things. i find myself more productive and "clear" when i do so.