happy new years!

it was uneventful as per usual. although this year, i decided to get extensions put in my hair. my first set of braids at 44. pretty cute actually. i'll post a pic. i didn't realize how much my hair has thinned over the years. it's alarming actually. my new stylist said that with curly hair textures, if you can see the scalp, you've already lost half of your hair. i think it's safe to say i've lost at the very least half of my hair. part of it is due to relaxing over a certain number of years. the other reasons are what i suspect to be stress and medication i was on when i was diagnosed with severe depression. my hair was falling out a lot at that time and never grew back. i've tried numerous products that aid in restoring hair density and nothing has worked. nothing. only thing left at this point is prayer. so it's on my prayer list.

i had a couple of dreams in the last few days. the first one was regarding a guy i didn't recognize but he made his intentions clear that he was interested in me. and he was genuine. he was sitting on the couch enamored by me and wanted to me to cuddle with him. he even reached under some throw pillows and pulled out a blanket. life has jaded me. i was too suspicious and the dream ended.

the last one had me screaming in my sleep. i was asleep in bed. i sat up to notice an alligator on the floor at the foot of my bed. i screamed and actually woke myself up from the noise. i go back to sleep and for the first time ever, i start dreaming again and i picked up where i left off with the alligator. nuts. i shake myself out of the dream and drift back off to sleep.

strange. i don't know if the two dreams are related or not. but i have to ask God for an interpretation. asking people what my dreams mean is getting old. not that they aren't being helpful but i need for him to interpret the dream for me so i know without a doubt.

some good news. i have a prayer partner. i've been praying for one off and on for a few years now. now i finally have one. we are alike in many ways which makes us really comfortable with each other. we decided to meet on each saturday until something else is more sufficient. and we've made a vision board. so instead of making resolutions i'm looking more into sticking by a vision board to meet my goals. not only are we going to pray for each other but we are going to hold each other accountable. thankfully, facebook is offering zoom-esque services for free which allows us to pay for the zoom services. zoom does have a free option but i think there is a time limit and there is no recording feature. fortunately, facebook does and it's in our budget of $Free.99. i've also decided to fast for 2 days out of the week. i'm making it a point to fast with a spiritual purpose in mind because of done with life as it is. i need something new. i want the life God promised me and fasting 2 days out of the week, i know will get me there. mark my words, i'm praying that God keeps me faithful to the fast, and by the end of the year i'll be a whole new woman. i'm already on the second day of my fast and i can say that i'm already out of steam. i'm gonna go to sleep. i'm already thinking about food. sleep is for dinner :)

oh and good news. i've lost some inches around my waist. not many but it is noticeable by pics so i won't despise meager beginnings. i joined a weighted-hula hoop challenge. it was for 60 days. i started out doing 10 minutes and worked my way up to 30 minutes every day. the facebook group that i'm in is super supportive. we encourage each other. i've never seen a group of women this encouraging. it's enlightening. we are our sister's keeper.

what is also interesting about being in this facebook group is that i found out i'm actually a talker and encourager. for the challenge we were required to upload 2 videos a week. the last thing i wanted to do is record videos in a group of women i didn't know and do this exercise. now i'm popping in more than twice a week, i'm talking all the way through the 30 minutes, i'm praying for the group and for even specific people. to think i started out reluctant to record and now i love it. we've started another 60-day challenge and i've coined it "All We Do Is Win". going into the challenge with a victor's mindset is half the battle. the other half is being consistent.

this year is going to be different in a lot of ways but i'm going to be successful at most of them if not all. i'm really excited on what God is gonna do this year. i'm excited for my new life.

and one more thing, i decided a few days ago to delete 'A's number out of my phone, even the call history. there is only one way i could get it and that's by tmobile phone records. it's really a hassle to log into my account so it will have to be some sort of hell or high water situation for me to dig up his number. the last 2 times i've tried to strike up a conversation with him, he wasn't remotely interested in one. i just decided any attempts on my part would be out of desperation and i'm not going into the new year being desperate...at all. if anything, i wanna find the guy on the couch trying to cuddle from my dream.