a little catch up.

i've been super busy with working and school that i've had very little time to add an entry.

let's start with the most recent activity. i just finished a test a couple of hours ago. it's a 2-part test. the first test i aced. the second test, which is worth more points, focused primarily on the stuff i didn't study or figured it wasn't as important. so because it's fill in the blank, it's going to take longer to grade. but i'm feeling that i'm going to take a huge hit on the second test. some stuff appeared to be labeled incorrectly. some stuff was marked as the proximal end and it appeared to be the distal end.

i will say that i went into this test with far more confidence and with more information under my belt. i'm growing. it feels good. i don't feel scared to move forward in my life. i'm ready to get to move to a different state and start my life over. i'm tired of seeing people that i attended high school with.

speaking of confidence, my prayer partner noticed it as well. she prayed for me and could tell that my confidence is a lot stronger.

my friend arrived in town on the 12th. it's good having someone living with me again. she's a really good friend. and an added bonus, she brings me goodies from jamaica. my freezer is stocked with the goodies.

i'm focusing on my health/weightloss journey so i'm purposely not indulging in the treats at this time. i'm giving myself til august to get back into a crop top. not only that but i'm going to get my navel re-pierced. i'm actually doing really well with the weightloss/veganism. i saw some oblique definition a couple of days ago. it's not much and i still have layers of fat on top of my stomach but i see it. that's all that matters. i'm making the right steps and for the longest stretch of time. i haven't maintained veganism this long previously. i've only been able to manage 2-3 months. now i'm 3 months shy of a year. that's an accomplishment in itself. granted, i haven't been perfect but i'm going to pat myself on the back. me stuffing down these salads and working out consistently is gonna get me back in a crop top in no time. :)

i had a couple of dreams last week that i forgot to put in here.

1st dream. well, more so a vision. it was the sunday or monday before my dad had that lovely letter duct-taped to my door last week. i was stirring from my sleep. when i opened my eyes, i saw a figure of a man with his hands out as if he was going to choke me. i quickly turned my head and prayed that God send his angels to protect me. i looked back and the figure was gone. i didn't get a chance to see a face, just a torso and a pair of hands. freaky. i must say, as a woman that lives by herself and has seen plenty of scary movies during her time, waking up to that vision was not a welcoming sight.

2. this happened at the end of the last week. this is the oddest dream i've had in quite some time and very gross. i was in what appeared to be some type of doctor's office. the waiting room, rather. there was a toilet in the middle of the room. no plumbing, just a toilet in an open waiting room. for some reason, i decided to use. i took a huge dump in the toilet. how in the hell i was able to take a dump that ended up being shaped like a rectangle the size of an ice cream container, i'll never know. even if it was connected to plumbing, it would never flush. it was the size of a rectangle ice cream container! how? what? why? i'm obviously embarrassed by it. i try picking up and dragging the toilet to a different room puzzled the entire time. i think i was able to get it out of the waiting room into a small closet nearby. i woke up and i'm just as confused by it as i am now. some the details are fuzzy or i just can't remember but that was the gist of the dream. i just keep looking at it like how did i manage to get that out?

i've been missing 'A' a little bit but i'm a soldier. i won't settle for less the next round. i pray i meet someone soon. i want someone else's attention. i want to be loved. i want to be the object of someone's attention. i want someone to read me poetry. love is not for the lighthearted. i still want it though.

i really think i'm perimenopausal. my period is strange and has been for the past year. i would say that if i didn't have fibroids it would be easier to diagnose. however, fibroids make your period strange anyway. but not this strange. i just always hoped i'd be with someone prior to starting menopause. but if i'm not ready, then i'm not ready. i just have to accept that. i'm waiting on God's timing because i have crap taste in men and i don't want what my parents had. and with that on the table, i'd rather wait for the person that God has for me than to be tied to some guy that doesn't treat me well. marriage is hard enough...then to be married to the wrong one. yeah, i'll wait. i have enough bad memories of my parents. the last thing i want to do is be their sequel.

well, i need to spend some time studying. i'll bid you adieu.
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