well, today has been a day.

i refused to bring myself to study for the 2 days i took off work. a waste of sick days. however, i was overcome with anxiety. to the point i withdrew from my class before my test was due. i convinced myself that i can retake the class in the summer/fall. but i thought about it some more. i don't want to squander this opportunity that God has given me. i've been suffering for so long in jobs i don't like. i didn't want to delay this any longer. my friend left me a message in our prayer group. the pic said "when you are afraid to do it, do it afraid".

i emailed my counselor and asked her if it was too late to reverse my withdrawal. she had me contact the registrar. i called the registrar and let her know that i withdrew from my class and if it was too late to reverse it. she said no and signed me back up. i immediately went to my laptop to take the test. after resolving a technical issue with my webcam, i took my test. after everything, i averaged a C. granted it could have been a lot better if i put more effort into studying those 2 days i squandered but i didn't fail.

i believe God. i trust him in this process. i faltered earlier but i He's faithful even when i'm unfaithful. if he can bring me this far, i know he can bring me from a C.