i'm taking a break from looking for new frames. my prescription got a little stronger. i have now entered the -4.00 club. things could be worse so i'll be thankful for where i am. i wanna get out of my comfort zone and go for a bolder color. instead of my typical black or brown frames, i want to go for a pink tortoise shell or red. the search is time consuming but what else do i have in life?

i enrolled in class yesterday. i'll be taking medical terminology. hopefully, i'll be able to get an online offering so i don't have to go to the main campus.

i need to move. living here is mundane. everything about it is mundane. my co-workers have been complaining about me a work. taking tickets and not working them. transferring calls to other associates. when i discussed things with my supervisor, i'm genuinely confused because those things didn't pan out. he said that people are jealous. i mentioned that i need to go sit in the corner. he said i don't dare do that. not to stop my shine because they can't handle it. it's sad that my supervisor that barely knows me had to remind me not to fall back into my comfort zone. it's not middle school.

i really need a workout buddy. i just can't stay committed to being active. nor eating right. i've stopped intermittent fasting and working out. i'm feeling bloated and my thighs look terrible. to be honest, i feel depressed and my mood is a direct reflection. i really think it's the perimenopause exasperating my mood as well. i need to eat better to combat how i'm feeling. i've had pancakes everyday since friday. i haven't had a green smoothie since saturday. i'm in a vicious cycle and i can admit now that i need help. when i see my doctor in a few weeks, i'm going to request anti-depressants. hopefully. i don't like being on meds.

i feel like i achieved a milestone. since i deleted 'A's phone number from my phone, i feel a severance of some sort. i think making myself a priority this year and not focusing on anyone else has done wonders. i can say for the first time in years i'm not missing him. i think i've finally let him go. the page i've taken from his book has the most fantastic quote, "if you're there, you're there, if you're not your not." words to live by.